Someone Loses from Better than Empty

Yesterday, we got termination.This means that Isaiah’s biological parents’ rights were terminated. We are so happy and relieved that this step is over. It is the right thing for Isaiah and it has been clear from the beginning that he belongs to us. However, it is not so black and white.

Adoption is born out of loss and foster care exists because we live in a broken world.

On court dates, I always wonder about Isaiah’s birth mother. Does she know what is happening? Does she care? Does she wonder about him? Does she think about him? Did she ignore the notices from the court? Did she not get them? When we got the news yesterday, I was in the store with my mother and I burst into tears of joy and relief. One step closer to being able to call him my own. One step closer to the world acknowledging what is in my heart. It felt like a victory, but in the system in which we function, someone always loses. It felt like we won yesterday. But Isaiah’sbirth mother lost.

Maybe she wasn’t fighting for her son. Maybe the battle that she is losing is a battle with drugs, depression, or some other thing that is stealing the life she was created for. I can’t forget that, my heart is heavy for her. I am burdened for her and I think I always will be – because adoption is born out of loss and foster care exists because we live in a broken world, and because of this, days like yesterday are bitter sweet.